CRYPTIC BULLSHIT

According to sources, Mark Vance Halburn, was found GUILTY of trespassing at a public pool in a court of law yesterday afternoon.

He was fined $250.00 plus court costs.

I’m assuming his second wife had to pay his fine, since the worthless lump of lard is unemployed. Of course, he didn’t get the electronic goods he was begging for online to pawn to help pay for his fine.

Once again, the money used to pay his fine could have gone to his child, his second wife should have let the bastard rot in jail for awhile and spent that money on either herself or their child.

You will not read about this on Mark’s shitty site, but you WILL hear about it right here or at Putnam County’s Official News Leader.

I encourage you all to celebrate by eating a bucket of KFC!!

***UPDATE***

I just called Mark on his er…”news” hotline. He stated he’s going to appeal due to “magistrate misconduct”….or something.

….right….

Today, we are sitting on the eve of Mark Halburn’s hearing on being a douchebag at a public swimming pool.

It’s not illegal to be a douchebag. However, Mark pissed off some local SWAT team members by demanding he swim while they do what they do…and got ticketed for it.

Tomorrow, Wednesday…January 27th, the world waits as Mark might be locked up for his actions, or his second wife pays for his bail.

Recently, Mark has been online begging for electronic goods. I assume he’s trying to obtain these goods to pawn so he can pay for his legal expenses. He says they’re for “students”, but everyone knows otherwise. Mark is unemployed and his second wife is the bread winner. It’s all documented at Putnam County’s Official News Leader.

Also, Mark’s obsession with Girl of Words continues here. This recent act of plagiarism has drawn the ire of many, including yours truly. Rest assured, this will not go unpunished.

So, the Vegas Odds are that Mark will spend some time in the pokey getting porked in his pork. However, as stated above, his second wife will more than likely bail him out, when that money could be used to support his child.

The countdown is on…

For someone who wastes his companies time on 9/11 conspiracy sites and screaming “Duh twoof iz owt dere” and brags about being rich, well off, financially secure, wealthy…somethingsomethingsomething, might not be telling the whole “twoof.”

My ace reporter has uncovered some startling “twoofs” about the boyTroy’s little abode:

He bought his house in 10/02 for $212,500.
Paid it off in 11/08.

There’s no way a guy working at a car dealer can make house payments like those.

Hmmm…I’m thinking that his daddy/caregiver #1 helps with those payments, or his wife/caregiver #2 makes more money than boyTroy claims to, or…and most likely, daddy/caregiver #1 owns and pays for the boyTroy’s mental castle.

Either way, it equals mad hilarity!

By the way Troy, even though you are no longer allowed to post comments here…I can blog about you all I want, as I gather information about you. The thing is, not a whole lot of people like you, so it’s going to be that much easier.

Say, weren’t you arrested in Cincinnati for being drunk off your mutton-chops and making an ass out of yourself?

Let’s see…from waronyou.com:

Sexton was also arrested in June 2008 at the Great American Ball Park in Cincinnati for public intoxication and resisting arrest.

“Beimel has met Sexton and even appeared in a YouTube video responding to the man, but asked if he might have the money to post bond, the left-hander smiled and said, ‘I have it. He’s not getting it,’ according to a June 18, 2008 article.

As you would say, boyTroy…PWNED!!

The twoof hurts, don’t it?

Once again, Troy Sexton proves to the world that he is a pussy.

When challenged to a debate by the beautiful Leonard “Run for the Border” Bernstein, Troy pussed out, again.

Troy also wants to appear on Tyler Hollywood’s “The Bad Side” to, in Troy’s words, “Make someone else look stupid.” However, it’s been documented that when Troy wants to go attention whoring on internet and/or terrestrial radio shows, he has had his mutton-chopped ass handed to him.

However, this is Troy’s standard M.O.

When pressed to his own admission of abusing his children, Troy changes the subject to some lamebrain 9/11 theory kick he’s been on for…I guess going on 10 years.

He also goes on about having untold wealth and fortune, even though his wife/caregiver has to work, also. Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, does it?

Of course, this is a man with an admitted mental illness. People like Troy Sexton should not be pitied, but made fun of and laughed at.

As I type this, the very sexy Leonard “Speedy Gonzalez” Bernstein is readying their victory speech over the PUSSY that is Troy Sexton.

Because Troy pussed out and has had his ass handed to him by me, Lenny, Tyler, and others…he’s once again banned from posting on this blog. His spam comments will be ignored, and never to be heard from again.

Better rub some Monistat on your sore vagina, Troy.

Someone clued me onto this:

Troy Sexton’s Collected Works

Yikes!

I’m thinking a sequel to Sling Blade. MmmHmm.

Also, listen to Troy getting PWNED on an internet radio show and bringing out his inner KKK:

Troy Getting PWNED!

Like a broken record, Troy Sexton has to tell anyone who’ll listen just how awesome he is with another comment left in my spam folder.

Let’s break this one down, shall we?

troyfromwv (No wonder there’s two mental hospitals in one WV town alone)
ausmusloney@yahoo.com (Mahoney from Police Academy? I dunno)
216.30.249.53 (The IP From Turnpike Chevrolet, home of shitty cars)
Submitted on 2010/01/19 at 1:06pm (Again, posting from work)

Once again, Lee the Bastard breeder (OH THE HILARITY!!! You have a stepchild, right? It’s sorta the same thing. The only difference is that poor kid has a wacko bastard for a father), makes crazy claims he can’t back up. (Um, haven’t I been doing that? Like my last entry?)

And his lackluster reading comprehension is ridiculous. (Is this a paragraph in and of itself? Or a sentence? I guess my Flintstone Reading Comprehension Vitamins is wearing off.)

He’ makes fun of my 4K savings (Who doesn’t?). Yet he ignores my house valued at well more than $200K paid off in full (I’m sure all the women are lining up at your door). He ignores the $25K in my money market account (No one cares) AND he ignores my $25K CD (No one cares) and my $12K (No one cares) in my checking account. My GAWD, this man truly is dumber than the conspiracy whackjobs. (Did you just call Mark Hallburn dumb?)

Bastard breeder Lee (ZING) also claims I’m best friends with Mark Hallburn. (By both posting on the same forums and blogs jerking each other off, survey says “Yes!) I’ve talked to Hallburn twice in my life, including last Friday (not counting the emails you both exchange) I shook the man’s hand. (I’d imagine it a combination of KFC grease and KY Jelly) How this translates to BFF’s? (See above statement) I do not know (Neither do I). The minds of crazy people…I cant comprehend. (Neither can I! I mean, even your wife says your a nut case off his meds…so….how’s that little disorder working out for ya, Bruce Banter??)

I’m the very best there is at what I do. (Huh?!?!) The accountants at Tetrick (I love playing Tetrick!) & Bartlett in Clarksburg can attest to this FACT! (I take the good, and take the bad…and there ya have, the Facts of Troy)

PWNED!!!!! (*yawn*)

Oh, he also pretended to be my ex-wife. The evidence just keeps piling up, doesn’t it?

Yet, Darth Sideburns fails to refute these FACTS:

Troy Sexton is a convicted child abuser.

Troy Sexton has a mental disorder.

Troy Sexton is on medication for said mental disorder.

Troy Sexton plays on the computer on company time.

Troy Sexton got his “job” because his daddy is the GM.

Troy Sexton is a glorified accountant.

Troy Sexton is a racist.

No one cares about what you claim to have, and that doesn’t hide the fact that you’re a bad person. You making an ass out of yourself on Youtube doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re a bad person.

Here’s another fact for ya, people like you and Mark…are gonna fuck up BIG TIME sooner or later. Daddy won’t be able to bail you out, and Mark…well…he can barely afford chewing gum at this point. All those little helmets (ironic for one with a mental disorder, no?), Youtube videos, attention-whoring…won’t mean shit, well…it doesn’t now, but it does to you. If or when that’s taken away…then what will you have? Bubba in prison won’t care, he’ll be too busy making you HIS attention whore.

You pride yourself in having these retarded possessions over your children…throw in a mental disorder, off their meds, stupid, abusive behavior, racism, a, “HEY LOOKIT ME WHAT I GOT ATTITUDE”, and you add all that up…and that equals a very dangerous human being who is capable of horrible things. Research some serial killers…alot of them share these same attributes you have displayed.

Keep ‘em comin’ Troy!

I just got this from one-half of Trark:

troyfromwv
ausmusloney@yahoo.com
216.30.249.53
Submitted on 2010/01/19 at 11:40am

Lee, the bastard breeder, likes to make claims he can’t back up. That’s how jealousy works. When one is jealous of another, one make’s up crap to make oneself feel better about oneself. I know what would make for a good chuckle. Taking a gander at Lee’s latest W2.

…says the person who’s BFF’s with an unemployed, racist, abusive, douchebag.

…says the person with only 4 grand in his savings.

…says the person who’s daddy got him a “job.”

…says the person who plays on the computer on company time.

Want proof? Here ya go:

Troy Sexton Is a Douche: Part 1

Troy Sexton Is a Douche: Part 2

My favorite part?

Christie Sexton, Troy Sexton’s wife, asked the court Tuesday to allow her husband to return home and receive probation instead of jail time. She said her husband has underlying mental-health issues and has been taking medication for about five years.

Sexton told the court Tuesday he had not consistently taken his medication while on vacation prior to his outburst at his sons’ football practice in August.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Did you take your meds before posting that, Troy?

The fact you and your BFF have “mental issues” speaks volumes.

This morning, I awoke to find another comment in my spam folder from one half of the Putnam Penis Pumpers, Trark:

troyfromwv
ausmusloney@yahoo.com
216.30.249.53
Submitted on 2010/01/19 at 8:19am

And in typical twoofy fashion, cowardly Mays bans users.

Again, Mark Halburn-Sexton’s husband is posting from work on his daddy’s dime! I’m sure there are those out there who wishes they had all that free time at their place of employment!

I have been called many things in my life…but never a “Twoof.” I’m not too sure what a twoof is, but I’m guessing it’s the sound Troy’s kids make when they hit the ground after he punches them.

Once again, one half of Trark…let me spell it out for you so your balding, sideburned skull can understand:

You and your wife, Mark Halburn-Sexton…are banned because you both cannot tell the truth to save your lives. I gave YOU the opportunity to tell your side of the story, however…just like your wife, you pussed out, bottom line. You can distort the truth all you want, but it’s been documented on this site and others as lies.

The truth is way too much fucking fun.

Onto other things…

A few days ago, I posted a um…”cryptic” (heh) entry entitled, “Bait and Fail.” I can now tell you what that is about, courtesy of Putnam County’s REAL News Leader:

On Friday evening at 7:16 PM PutnamLIES.com received the following comment from a Suddenlink customer (173.81.176.86) in the Ravenswood WV/Syracuse-Racine OH area:

This was nothing more than a blatant fabrication, maliciously left in order to mislead PutnamLIES.com into printing a false story. Probably so some douchebag could try and sue us.
Well it didn’t work, asshole.
One phone call was all it took. Welcome to the 21st century.
We have standards here.
You can thank us later, gordo.

PutnamLIES’ publisher, Mike Ballburn, once again proves he’s Putnam County’s REAL News Leader by verifying information that was given to him. However, that information was proved to be false, and was reported as such.

We have all come to the conclusion that this information was perpetrated by either half of Trark, who went out of their way to try and make Mike look bad, and perhaps sue him for false information.

I’ve been told that the good people of Putnam County, WV have heralded Mike Ballburn has their county’s OFFICIAL news leader, the other one is just a cheap, bastardized fraud of real news.

Congratulations to Mike Ballburn, Putnam County’s Official News Leader! Head on over to PutnamLIES.com and hang out and maybe buy some cool swag.

While I’m at it, feel free to comment on Mark Halburn-Sexton’s Wal-Mart Doucheafesto by heading over to Hollywood: It’s A State Of Mind, Tyler F’in Hollywood’s Kickass Ninja Blog! He’s not really a ninja, but he is the #1 internet radio talk-show host in the whole multiverse, something that Mark Halburn-Sexton is flamingly jealous of…because Mark has failed and/or has been fired from radio…among other jobs.

While I’m on a roll, Mark Halburn-Sexton is also jealous of Jacque Jo Bland because she’s a REAL journalist with a REAL press pass, unlike the one Mark got out of a box of Frosted Fats. She’s also a better writer, more respected, and better to look at than Mark…well, staring at a pile of cow shit is better to look at than Mark.

It’s sad…well, no..it’s HILARIOUS, than both Mark and Troy have nothing, are nothing, and will never be nothing.

At least Trark has each other.

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and what better way to share the day of lovers than to share two comments that I found in my spam folder from two very passionate men:

Mark
News@PutnamLIVE.com
173.80.180.152
Submitted on 2010/01/18 at 10:54pm

YOU ARE A LYING SACK OF CRAP! YOU NEVER SHOWED UP FOR THE DEBATE! YOU NEVER CAME TO THE RING! YOU ARE A FRAUD!

No, Mrs. Halburn-Sexton…I challenged YOU, you wanted to make up some dipshit terms that you know none of us could adhere to. If you were any kind of man you would have accepted as outlined a couple of entries ago, but you didn’t because you are a coward and only act like a badass against young girls.

Mark Hallburn is a pussy.

Now onto his husband who left this:

troyfromwv
ausmusloney@yahoo.com
216.30.249.53
Submitted on 2010/01/18 at 1:14pm

When it comes to making crazy assumptions, I never thought the 911 Inside Job believin douchebags could be topped. But Lee Mays has done it. Congrats!

Awwww…isn’t that fucking adorable? A husband coming to defend the honor of his wife. And doing it from work no less! Impressive! It’s good to know that the most awesomest comptroller the world has ever known has the time to post from work. Where do you find the time? I guess in between beating your kids to the point where they’re as retarded as you are and making time to spend with your er….”lovely” wife Mark. It just fills the cockles of my heart.

If there is a Cupid, he should be congratulated for bringing you two together. Forget Brangelina, and who the hell is Bennifer? We have Trark!!

Mel Gibson is back with what appears to be a return to his roots, a kick-ass action flick. However, it seems he can’t get away from being well…Fuhrer-esque. Check out the line at 2:23 in the below trailer:

As some of you may know, Mel Gibson has been criticized in the past for being anti-Semitic…and well, that little line there doesn’t help his cause, does it?

Mel, can you at least turn down the volume on your Mein Kampf?

We love ya, always have…however, it’s our wits that make us men.