Seeing Stars

RIP Ed Mcmahon.

When I first heard the news this morning I was reminded of this old SNL skit displaying Johnny Carson and Ed Mcmahon trying to “modernize” The Tonight Show by ripping of Arsenio Hall:

Saturday Night Live – The Carsenio Hall Show

Speaking of trying to stay ahead of the game, Myspace has become a barren wasteland.  Me thinks Tom and the gang are grasping for straws by proudly promoting that yes, you too…can be friends with the likes of celebrities like Jon and Kate Plus 8 and whoever else they’re parading around.  When I logged into my account I was bombarded with celebrity Myspace updates including Lindsey Lohan’s ex-husband Samantha Ronson who told me:

“Can’t post a blog from my phone- sucks- but will be posting song of the day soon. ”

So, does anyone want to tell me exactly WHAT Samantha Ronson does for a living?  I’m amazed one can be famous nowadays for essentially doing nothing.  I’m looking at you, Mizz Hilton.

I noticed Katy Perry had this breaking news on her page:

“What’s fun about the 24 hour flu? …NOTHING… I’m in Milano.”

Yeah, because when I got online this morning I was wondering where the hell Katy was because….well, she’s my BFF and the bitch hadn’t called me, ya know??

After reading more of these “updates”, I realized humanity has put their intelligence on lay away in exchange for their input on celebrity Myspace pages.  Let’s face it…when you’re in the public eye EVERYONE’S your best friend.  After Ms. Ronson told the world of her calamity for today, her online friends got on their computers at breakneck speed to support her!

One of her friends named Summer piped in:

‘No shit!Don’t bother trying!It pisses me the fuck off because I love myspace.Facebook ugh!!!!”

I just wanted to add…according to Summer’s Myspace page, she’s 35 years old and has yet to grasp the concept of the spacebar after ending a sentence.

It just makes me want to give up on the internet and go back to the “first” internet…the CB radio!

The CB radio serves the same function as the interwebz…communicating with other people!  However, it’s better than any “social networking” site because you can actually hear real people giving “status” updates like:

“My ankle biter in Motor City giving me a horse on the cake!”

Poetry.

I just might ditch this CNA business and go out and get me a big rig, adopt a monkey, and hit the open road and letting the world know what I’m doing through the magic of CB radio!

…and that’s a 10-4!