They like big butts and they’ll tell you why, they’re idiots and I don’t deny:

‘Cause you notice that butt was stuffed with silicone, vaseline, and glue,
Makes my brothers say “Ewwwww!”
My homeboys rejected you.
Cuz that butt you got infected you!

This made my hair stand on end:

I guess Wal-Mart was out of Nair.

It has been a great day. Once I got home from work and checked my email, it got even greater:

From:
LG

Sincerely
Sir George Harris

This will certainly help in my wedding to my beloved Nigerian Princess, whom I’ve been sending money to for the past 3 years for our wedding off the coast of beautiful Kashmir. She tells me in her country you can put weddings on lay-away. I can’t wait till it’s all paid up so me and my Nigerian Princess rule her vast land together as King and Queen of Nigeria!!

Girl of Words’ latest post about an awesome underground movie got me thinking…barely…about great cult movies/shows in the 90s, or MY generation: Generation X.

During my college days, I got a heavy dose of one of the most original TV shows ever, Mystery Science Theater 3000, or “MST3K” on Comedy Central. Basically, the premise was a dude gets stuck in space with two robots, Tom Servo and Crow, and a female robot named Gypsy, who piloted their “ship.” The crew gets a daily dose of really, really, bad movies, or “experiments” initiated by two mad scientists, Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank (possibly one of the greatest sidekicks ever). The gang would sit there and watch these horrible films and rip them to shreds.

In later seasons a few cast members get replaced but the premise remained…cracking on really bad movies, television shorts, or really bad educational films.

Sadly, MST3K got canceled, one of the few television shows I wish they’d bring back. I still can’t understand why that irritating cunt Sarah Silverman has a show.

You can find alot of the older MST3K shows on DVD or online. One of my favorites from MST3K is a short called “Mr. B. Natural” is shown in it’s entirety below:

Get ‘em while they’re young:

I just threw up in my mouth.

Somewhere, Patsy Ramsey is telling Jon-Benet, “SEE?!?!? If *I* only caked on a little more makeup on you and made you wear tighter clothes and showed more skin, we wouldn’t be here!!”

This is what happens when you let the dog babysit your child:

Potty training? You’re doing it wrong!

I’m not ashamed to say I had the cassette tape back in the day (remember those?) to the following song/video and others of this type on “Piledriver: The Wrestling Album” which included little ditties sung by the likes of “The Birdman” KoKo B. Ware and Hillbilly Jim.

Nothing made you feel tougher knowing that pseudo-badasses who sung off key and pretended to play an instrument were there protecting us Hulkamaniacs from the likes of the Russians, an Earthquake, a Macho Man, and an Ultimate Warrior.

This is the owner of the WWF (now WWE), Vince Mcmahon, um…well, just watch it:

Vince McMahon – stand back – MyVideo

Here’s another video for the title track:

Dear.God.

Yep, I thought that shit was awesome back then.

DON’T JUDGE ME!!!!!!

Here’s the grand finale:

See kids, back in my day…shooting up with ‘roids was acceptable as long you “fought for your might, and fought for what was right” by being a “real american” by training, saying your prayers, and eating your vitamins…

…BROTHER!!!!

In this day and age of frivolous lawsuits, combined with everyone’s growing ADD and an “I want it NOW” attitude, a law firm in this area has come up with the genius concept of including a drive through window:

One has to wonder what kind of “Happy Meal” is on their menu.

Reading Rainbow was the shit back in the day! It was always cool to see kids my age (then) review good books. Although, I don’t recall this one at my school’s library:

It’s a great way to relieve stress!