Woe to You Oh Earth and Sea
for the Devil sends the beast with wrath
because he knows the time is short
Let him who have understanding
reckon the mark of the beast
for it is a human number
it weighs six hundred and sixty six…pounds

The internet is a funny thing. No matter how secure you think you are, you’re always leaving “Marks” everywhere. So, it goes without saying that Cryptic Bullshit’s favorite D-list “journalist”, Mark Halburn, left a very big “Mark” yesterday via this URL:

What’s in said URL, you ask? Well, before he takes the whole thing down for making him look like a bigger idiot, here it is:

Gentlemen:

You may be asking, why is Mark Halburn threatening me with the po-po? You also may be asking, why would the po-po give a shit?

The answer to the first question is simple, Mark doesn’t want certain people finding out the truth about him and his antics. The po-po doesn’t care because all this boils down to on both sides is a cyber pissing match. Plus, Mark has done this same thing to alot of people, it has been documented on the very sites he mentioned. The only difference is a man as unstable as him should not be allowed around children…or humans, for that matter.

However, as you all can plainly see…in no way, shape or form, have I threatened anyone on his end with physical harm. I simply let certain people know the truth about him, and he’s scared shitless. In the “Sal Marino” e-mail, Mark forgot to add that he pretty much called my 8-month old daughter a racial slur, so yeah. Also, I never cost him a “job.” Mark has been let go from every job he has ever had due to insubordination and not following the rules. He was caught on the internet on company time at his last job several times, this has also been documented.

With people like Mark Halburn, it’s everyone else’s fault except his. People like him think there should be no consequences for their actions. As of today, no po-po be banging on my hizzle.

I implore all of you reading this who may not be familiar with this waste of flesh to Google his real name, Mark Halburn or his “alias” Mark Hallburn (with two “Ls”) and look at all the tracks he has left on the internet. Read all about his legal record and his mental evaluation, read all about his harassment and bullying of others.

By the way, retard. You have participated on this blog, which has also been documented, and have spent alot of time on here, which has also been documented. As long as you participate in discussions, you have no recourse for shit. So your claims, like your life…is a failure.

The truth is out there.

According to sources, Mark Vance Halburn, was found GUILTY of trespassing at a public pool in a court of law yesterday afternoon.

He was fined $250.00 plus court costs.

I’m assuming his second wife had to pay his fine, since the worthless lump of lard is unemployed. Of course, he didn’t get the electronic goods he was begging for online to pawn to help pay for his fine.

Once again, the money used to pay his fine could have gone to his child, his second wife should have let the bastard rot in jail for awhile and spent that money on either herself or their child.

You will not read about this on Mark’s shitty site, but you WILL hear about it right here or at Putnam County’s Official News Leader.

I encourage you all to celebrate by eating a bucket of KFC!!

***UPDATE***

I just called Mark on his er…”news” hotline. He stated he’s going to appeal due to “magistrate misconduct”….or something.

….right….

Today, we are sitting on the eve of Mark Halburn’s hearing on being a douchebag at a public swimming pool.

It’s not illegal to be a douchebag. However, Mark pissed off some local SWAT team members by demanding he swim while they do what they do…and got ticketed for it.

Tomorrow, Wednesday…January 27th, the world waits as Mark might be locked up for his actions, or his second wife pays for his bail.

Recently, Mark has been online begging for electronic goods. I assume he’s trying to obtain these goods to pawn so he can pay for his legal expenses. He says they’re for “students”, but everyone knows otherwise. Mark is unemployed and his second wife is the bread winner. It’s all documented at Putnam County’s Official News Leader.

Also, Mark’s obsession with Girl of Words continues here. This recent act of plagiarism has drawn the ire of many, including yours truly. Rest assured, this will not go unpunished.

So, the Vegas Odds are that Mark will spend some time in the pokey getting porked in his pork. However, as stated above, his second wife will more than likely bail him out, when that money could be used to support his child.

The countdown is on…

This morning, I awoke to find another comment in my spam folder from one half of the Putnam Penis Pumpers, Trark:

troyfromwv
ausmusloney@yahoo.com
216.30.249.53
Submitted on 2010/01/19 at 8:19am

And in typical twoofy fashion, cowardly Mays bans users.

Again, Mark Halburn-Sexton’s husband is posting from work on his daddy’s dime! I’m sure there are those out there who wishes they had all that free time at their place of employment!

I have been called many things in my life…but never a “Twoof.” I’m not too sure what a twoof is, but I’m guessing it’s the sound Troy’s kids make when they hit the ground after he punches them.

Once again, one half of Trark…let me spell it out for you so your balding, sideburned skull can understand:

You and your wife, Mark Halburn-Sexton…are banned because you both cannot tell the truth to save your lives. I gave YOU the opportunity to tell your side of the story, however…just like your wife, you pussed out, bottom line. You can distort the truth all you want, but it’s been documented on this site and others as lies.

The truth is way too much fucking fun.

Onto other things…

A few days ago, I posted a um…”cryptic” (heh) entry entitled, “Bait and Fail.” I can now tell you what that is about, courtesy of Putnam County’s REAL News Leader:

On Friday evening at 7:16 PM PutnamLIES.com received the following comment from a Suddenlink customer (173.81.176.86) in the Ravenswood WV/Syracuse-Racine OH area:

This was nothing more than a blatant fabrication, maliciously left in order to mislead PutnamLIES.com into printing a false story. Probably so some douchebag could try and sue us.
Well it didn’t work, asshole.
One phone call was all it took. Welcome to the 21st century.
We have standards here.
You can thank us later, gordo.

PutnamLIES’ publisher, Mike Ballburn, once again proves he’s Putnam County’s REAL News Leader by verifying information that was given to him. However, that information was proved to be false, and was reported as such.

We have all come to the conclusion that this information was perpetrated by either half of Trark, who went out of their way to try and make Mike look bad, and perhaps sue him for false information.

I’ve been told that the good people of Putnam County, WV have heralded Mike Ballburn has their county’s OFFICIAL news leader, the other one is just a cheap, bastardized fraud of real news.

Congratulations to Mike Ballburn, Putnam County’s Official News Leader! Head on over to PutnamLIES.com and hang out and maybe buy some cool swag.

While I’m at it, feel free to comment on Mark Halburn-Sexton’s Wal-Mart Doucheafesto by heading over to Hollywood: It’s A State Of Mind, Tyler F’in Hollywood’s Kickass Ninja Blog! He’s not really a ninja, but he is the #1 internet radio talk-show host in the whole multiverse, something that Mark Halburn-Sexton is flamingly jealous of…because Mark has failed and/or has been fired from radio…among other jobs.

While I’m on a roll, Mark Halburn-Sexton is also jealous of Jacque Jo Bland because she’s a REAL journalist with a REAL press pass, unlike the one Mark got out of a box of Frosted Fats. She’s also a better writer, more respected, and better to look at than Mark…well, staring at a pile of cow shit is better to look at than Mark.

It’s sad…well, no..it’s HILARIOUS, than both Mark and Troy have nothing, are nothing, and will never be nothing.

At least Trark has each other.

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and what better way to share the day of lovers than to share two comments that I found in my spam folder from two very passionate men:

Mark
News@PutnamLIVE.com
173.80.180.152
Submitted on 2010/01/18 at 10:54pm

YOU ARE A LYING SACK OF CRAP! YOU NEVER SHOWED UP FOR THE DEBATE! YOU NEVER CAME TO THE RING! YOU ARE A FRAUD!

No, Mrs. Halburn-Sexton…I challenged YOU, you wanted to make up some dipshit terms that you know none of us could adhere to. If you were any kind of man you would have accepted as outlined a couple of entries ago, but you didn’t because you are a coward and only act like a badass against young girls.

Mark Hallburn is a pussy.

Now onto his husband who left this:

troyfromwv
ausmusloney@yahoo.com
216.30.249.53
Submitted on 2010/01/18 at 1:14pm

When it comes to making crazy assumptions, I never thought the 911 Inside Job believin douchebags could be topped. But Lee Mays has done it. Congrats!

Awwww…isn’t that fucking adorable? A husband coming to defend the honor of his wife. And doing it from work no less! Impressive! It’s good to know that the most awesomest comptroller the world has ever known has the time to post from work. Where do you find the time? I guess in between beating your kids to the point where they’re as retarded as you are and making time to spend with your er….”lovely” wife Mark. It just fills the cockles of my heart.

If there is a Cupid, he should be congratulated for bringing you two together. Forget Brangelina, and who the hell is Bennifer? We have Trark!!

Mark Hallburn isn’t man enough to take me up on my challenge for a debate to air on Tyler Hollywood’s #1 Internet Radio Show, “The Bad Side.”

I wanted Mark to write a concession speech on him pussing out, but I got this instead…on Tyler’s blog, Mark wrote:

“Lee:

I will put it right here. You may show up on our property ONE time for a live debate. I will not press trespassing charges for a ONE TIME IN-PERSON debate. Live remote debate on Tyler’s show, moderated by him IN-PERSON. Take it or leave it!”

My response? That if something like that were to happen, he could have me arrested for trespassing. That’s his M.O. That’s always been his M.O. Mark Hallburn is a coward when faced with a real challenge from a real person who isn’t afraid of him.

Mark Cowardburn then stated:

“Lee:

For the record, I DO NOT want you arrested. I want you employed, FULL-TIME to pay damages for the things you have posted about me, my wife, AND Matthew, the son of Dolores and myself. The more you make, the easier I can collect.”

When a man challenges another man, the other man doesn’t sit and make up some dipshit rules…it’s either a go or a no. However, those little concessions were good enough for me!

He was talking about allegations I have made about sleeping with his wife DOH’-lores and claiming that his son isn’t actually his…a claim that has not yet been verified by a fertility doctor. Also, for those that have been following this blog, he has tried to “sue” me once before…when I say “sue” I really mean extortion. What did I do? I laughed. For those that are new readers, just check some past entries about said topic.

Mark HaLburn cannot afford a lawyer, or much of anything, really. On Putnam County’s REAL News Leader’s site, it has been documented AND verified that Mark has been online begging for items such as televisions that he claims are for his son.

And lastly, Mark is claiming to be taking down his “Enduring Wal-Mart” blog again and making it into a “journal” about his son. This is how the guy operates, when faced with ever-increasing call outs on his lies…he tries the sympathy route. However, we all have heard it before. He may take down his Wal-Mart journal again and put up a blog about his mutant, however, it’ll more than likely be another journal about him, because Mark HaLburn is a very selfish man who’s only looking out for himself.

For the record, I am 3-0 against Mark Hallburn, which in the world of boxing would be a TKO, and 1-0 against his life partner Troy Sexton.

Once again, I emerge victorious because MARK HALLBURN IS A PUSSY!!

Yours truly has challenged everyone’s favorite little fat fuck, Mark Hallburn, to a debate on the #1 internet radio show in the known universe….Tyler Hollywood’s Bad Side!

He has threatened AGAIN to sue me on Tyler Hollywood’s Blog because I’m bullying a 48 year old man into submission….over the internet. However, it’s okay for him to bully women, children, and the like..

I have no idea what we’re gonna debate, and really…who cares? Like I have told a few people, I will verbally fistfuck that racist, bullying douche so hard he’ll beg Wal-Mart to employ him.

The challenge is out there, let’s see if Mark HaLburn has the balls to accept.

C’mon Mark, are man enough to take on the Ayatollah of Bloggerollah???

Earlier today on my break, I checked me email on my phone…and found a very interesting little email that was from a comment on this blog:

It looks like Lee has another blog up and running.

Countdown till femme-fag bans this post. 3…..2……..1……..

I was intrigued, someone tried to make a “parody” blog about yours truly. And yes, that is a “working” blog.

Flattery will get you everywhere, but not without dinner and a movie.

Perplexed, I texted my ace reporter to see if they could get at the bottom of this mystery of Scooby-Doo level.

They said the IP came from the Kanawha County Public in West Virginia.

But who could think enough of me, to do such a thing?

Elementary, my dear Sexton!

My own research shows that there’s a branch of said library in Nitro, WV…the home of Turnpike Chevrolet, where Mark Hallburn’s boyfriend Troy Sexton works.

Now, keep in mind…the man went to a public library, in an attempt to be “stealthy” and Snake Eyes and James Bond and Spy vs. Spy and all that noise, to try and thwart me and be all secret and tee-hee I gotcha!

EPIC FAIL!!

If you read the parody blog about me, you’d notice it said I’m obsessed about dreaming of Troy Sexton and Mark Hallburn going at it in a bathroom stall. I never said they had an encounter in a bathroom stall…someone else alluded to the fact. Troy, are you now verifying that you and Mark tossed each other’s salads in a bathroom stall off I-64?

It also claimed I’m jealous of people with success. Well..define success. If success means having your GM daddy get you a job at Turnpike Chevrolet, beating your children, having a sports collection only a 12 year old would find cool, bragging to everyone who’ll listen how great your life is and what you have, making an ass out of yourself on Youtube, being a racist, and having an affair on your wife with a man…then….ehhhhhh….not so much.

Do you define success as having a blog not-so-cleverly-disguised as a news site, harassing and bullying women, abusing your wife and son, lying about anything and everything to make yourself look like someone remotely important, and eating everything? Ehhhh….see the above reaction

Also, you linked to this blog…which in turn gets more hits from people who found your “blog”, which you claim gets 16 hits a day…so um…thanks for that!!

One other thing, I find it amazing that you took time to go to the library during your “work” hours to get at me, does your daddy know you take breaks on company time? Did your tell him you was going to get a “part” for one of those shitty cars that you sell or something? Run an errand? Meet Mark for a game of “Hide The Putnam Penis?”

The thing that gets you both the most is, neither of you knows who’s being Putnam County’s REAL news leader. It may be me, it may not be…it may be Girl of Words, then again…it may not be…it also may be someone you don’t even know. It frustrates you both so much you’re gonna have to take it out on each other’s hiney-holes.

Which begs the question…Troy, how far do you have to reach to give Mark a reach around?

Hallburn: My first time was in an outhouse outside San Diego, California.

Interviewer: Wasn’t it a little cramped?

Hallburn: Not after I kicked the goat out.

Interviewer: I see. You must tell me all about it.

Hallburn: I never really expected to make it with mom, but then after she showed all the other guys in town such a good time, I figured, “What the hell?”

Interviewer: But your mom? Isn’t that a bit odd?

Hallburn: I don’t think so. Looks don’t mean that much to me in a woman.

Interviewer: Go on.

Hallburn: Well, were drunk off our fake news gathering asses on Jack Daniels, ginger ale, and soda pop–that’s called a PutnamJIVE–at the time. And mom looked better than a Putnam County politician with a $100 bribe.

Interviewer: PutnamJIVE in the crapper with mom…how interesting. Well, how was it?

Hallburn: The PutnamJIVE was great, but mom passed out before I could cum.

Interviewer: Did you ever try again?

Hallburn: Sure…lots of times. But not in the outhouse. Between mom and the shit, the flies were too much to bear.

Interviewer: We meant the PutnamJIVE.

Hallburn: Oh yeah. I always get sloshed before I go out and gather some “news.” You don’t think I could lay down all that bullshit sober, do you?

Awhile back I said I wasn’t going to blog about Mark HaLburn anymore, well…my little fat buddy wants attention, I’ll give it to him.

From someone claiming to be a journalist who writes on a trash news site:

January 10th, 2010: One of the trash blogs is now attacking a local YouTube legend. It must be nice to have so much time to waste kicking a man while he is down. The trash blogger seems to get high acting like a thug. He makes Larry Flynt look like a saint! I’d rather inform the people of Putnam County!

Thanks for the compliment, Mr. HaLburn. It’d be nice if you addressed me by my real name, but we all know you don’t have the balls to do that…you’re afraid of men…except that one you have a sexual relationship with.

Larry Flynt is a champion of free speech, so if I’m Larry Flynt, Mark HaLburn must be Jerry Falwell. So, that means Mark HaLburn had an incestuous encounter with his mother in an outhouse. No wonder lil’ Markie cried so much when he was a wee lad.