“With the exception of work, my life is sitting in my mom’s basement.”
These things just write themselves.
Cryptic Bullshit’s #2 favorite douchebag has done it again:
No means no, Troy.
Besides, our bailout money is being used to bail YOU out. Oh, the irony!
***UPDATE***
Well, not really an update…just the transcript of the news story from WCHS.com:
SEXTON ARRESTED
DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A PUTNAM COUNTY MAN….WHO LANDS IN JAIL BEFORE HIS SENTENCING ON OTHER CHARGES.
TROY SEXTON WAS ARRESTED FRIDAY FOR ALLEGEDLY MAKING HARASSING PHONE CALLS TO A WOMAN .
APPARENTLY THE WOMAN RECORDED SEVERAL OF THE CONVERSATIONS WHICH WERE ABOUT AN ONGOING COURT CASE.
YOU MIGHT REMEMBER SEXTON .
HE WAS CONVICTED OF DRAGGING ONE OF HIS SONS AND PUSHING ANOTHER TO THE GROUND DURING MIDGET LEAGUE FOOTBALL PRACTICE IN WINFIELD.
SEXTON IS SCHEDULED FOR SENTENCING ON DOMESTIC BATTERY CHARGES NEXT WEEK.
IT’S UNCLEAR IF THAT CASE IS WHAT THE PHONE CALLS WERE ABOUT.
SEXTON IS OUT ON BOND TONIGHT.
Please keep in mind, Troy Sexton has a condition called IED, or…”Intermittent Excuse Disorder”, in which a person thinks their actions should hold no consequences, therefore, makes repeated excuses about why they did said action. There is no cure for this affliction, although researchers are suggesting a good ball bat to the to the genitals has been successful in mice.
For someone who wastes his companies time on 9/11 conspiracy sites and screaming “Duh twoof iz owt dere” and brags about being rich, well off, financially secure, wealthy…somethingsomethingsomething, might not be telling the whole “twoof.”
My ace reporter has uncovered some startling “twoofs” about the boyTroy’s little abode:
He bought his house in 10/02 for $212,500.
Paid it off in 11/08.
That’s paying almost $4000 a month.
There’s no way a guy working at a car dealer can make house payments like those.
Hmmm…I’m thinking that his daddy/caregiver #1 helps with those payments, or his wife/caregiver #2 makes more money than boyTroy claims to, or…and most likely, daddy/caregiver #1 owns and pays for the boyTroy’s mental castle.
Either way, it equals mad hilarity!
By the way Troy, even though you are no longer allowed to post comments here…I can blog about you all I want, as I gather information about you. The thing is, not a whole lot of people like you, so it’s going to be that much easier.
Say, weren’t you arrested in Cincinnati for being drunk off your mutton-chops and making an ass out of yourself?
Let’s see…from waronyou.com:
Sexton was also arrested in June 2008 at the Great American Ball Park in Cincinnati for public intoxication and resisting arrest.
Sexton gave an account of that incident to ESPN The Magazine for a story about fans arrested at baseball games. He said the altercation started after Beimel, then pitching for the Los Angeles Dodgers, got out of a tight spot. Sexton said he took off his Beimel jersey, held it up and screamed the player’s name, and was booed by Cincinnati Reds fans around him.
“So I gave the Reds fans the finger, probably because I was drunk,” Sexton told ESPN. “A man tugged at my arm and told me to stop (he was right; there were kids around), but I didn’t like him touching me. So I yelled, ‘You’d better get off me.’ But he wouldn’t, so I pushed him, and he fell down the stairs.
“It wasn’t worth it; this follows you around,” he told ESPN.
Sexton has received Internet notoriety for his Beimel videos, and for posting recordings of himself talking with members of the “9/11 Truthers” group.
In one video, Sexton records himself speaking with Bob McIlvaine, a member of the group that questions how much the government knew of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks before they happened. McIlvaine’s son died in the attacks on the World Trade Center.
In the 10-minute video, Sexton repeatedly calls McIlvaine a “piece of trash” and a “crackpot.”
“You’re the one that spreads the lies of America hate, not me, old man,” Sexton says in the video.
Last year, Sexton’s YouTube sports videos and his Cincinnati arrest even caught Beimel’s attention, according to the Press-Enterprise of Riverside, Calif.
“Beimel has met Sexton and even appeared in a YouTube video responding to the man, but asked if he might have the money to post bond, the left-hander smiled and said, ‘I have it. He’s not getting it,’ according to a June 18, 2008 article.
As you would say, boyTroy…PWNED!!
The twoof hurts, don’t it?
Once again, Troy Sexton proves to the world that he is a pussy.
When challenged to a debate by the beautiful Leonard “Run for the Border” Bernstein, Troy pussed out, again.
Troy also wants to appear on Tyler Hollywood’s “The Bad Side” to, in Troy’s words, “Make someone else look stupid.” However, it’s been documented that when Troy wants to go attention whoring on internet and/or terrestrial radio shows, he has had his mutton-chopped ass handed to him.
However, this is Troy’s standard M.O.
When pressed to his own admission of abusing his children, Troy changes the subject to some lamebrain 9/11 theory kick he’s been on for…I guess going on 10 years.
He also goes on about having untold wealth and fortune, even though his wife/caregiver has to work, also. Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, does it?
Of course, this is a man with an admitted mental illness. People like Troy Sexton should not be pitied, but made fun of and laughed at.
As I type this, the very sexy Leonard “Speedy Gonzalez” Bernstein is readying their victory speech over the PUSSY that is Troy Sexton.
Because Troy pussed out and has had his ass handed to him by me, Lenny, Tyler, and others…he’s once again banned from posting on this blog. His spam comments will be ignored, and never to be heard from again.
Better rub some Monistat on your sore vagina, Troy.
Someone clued me onto this:
Yikes!
I’m thinking a sequel to Sling Blade. MmmHmm.
Also, listen to Troy getting PWNED on an internet radio show and bringing out his inner KKK:
Like a broken record, Troy Sexton has to tell anyone who’ll listen just how awesome he is with another comment left in my spam folder.
Let’s break this one down, shall we?
troyfromwv (No wonder there’s two mental hospitals in one WV town alone)
ausmusloney@yahoo.com (Mahoney from Police Academy? I dunno)
216.30.249.53 (The IP From Turnpike Chevrolet, home of shitty cars)
Submitted on 2010/01/19 at 1:06pm (Again, posting from work)
Once again, Lee the Bastard breeder (OH THE HILARITY!!! You have a stepchild, right? It’s sorta the same thing. The only difference is that poor kid has a wacko bastard for a father), makes crazy claims he can’t back up. (Um, haven’t I been doing that? Like my last entry?)
And his lackluster reading comprehension is ridiculous. (Is this a paragraph in and of itself? Or a sentence? I guess my Flintstone Reading Comprehension Vitamins is wearing off.)
He’ makes fun of my 4K savings (Who doesn’t?). Yet he ignores my house valued at well more than $200K paid off in full (I’m sure all the women are lining up at your door). He ignores the $25K in my money market account (No one cares) AND he ignores my $25K CD (No one cares) and my $12K (No one cares) in my checking account. My GAWD, this man truly is dumber than the conspiracy whackjobs. (Did you just call Mark Hallburn dumb?)
Bastard breeder Lee (ZING) also claims I’m best friends with Mark Hallburn. (By both posting on the same forums and blogs jerking each other off, survey says “Yes!) I’ve talked to Hallburn twice in my life, including last Friday (not counting the emails you both exchange) I shook the man’s hand. (I’d imagine it a combination of KFC grease and KY Jelly) How this translates to BFF’s? (See above statement) I do not know (Neither do I). The minds of crazy people…I cant comprehend. (Neither can I! I mean, even your wife says your a nut case off his meds…so….how’s that little disorder working out for ya, Bruce Banter??)
I’m the very best there is at what I do. (Huh?!?!) The accountants at Tetrick (I love playing Tetrick!) & Bartlett in Clarksburg can attest to this FACT! (I take the good, and take the bad…and there ya have, the Facts of Troy)
PWNED!!!!! (*yawn*)
Oh, he also pretended to be my ex-wife. The evidence just keeps piling up, doesn’t it?
Yet, Darth Sideburns fails to refute these FACTS:
Troy Sexton is a convicted child abuser.
Troy Sexton has a mental disorder.
Troy Sexton is on medication for said mental disorder.
Troy Sexton plays on the computer on company time.
Troy Sexton got his “job” because his daddy is the GM.
Troy Sexton is a glorified accountant.
Troy Sexton is a racist.
No one cares about what you claim to have, and that doesn’t hide the fact that you’re a bad person. You making an ass out of yourself on Youtube doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re a bad person.
Here’s another fact for ya, people like you and Mark…are gonna fuck up BIG TIME sooner or later. Daddy won’t be able to bail you out, and Mark…well…he can barely afford chewing gum at this point. All those little helmets (ironic for one with a mental disorder, no?), Youtube videos, attention-whoring…won’t mean shit, well…it doesn’t now, but it does to you. If or when that’s taken away…then what will you have? Bubba in prison won’t care, he’ll be too busy making you HIS attention whore.
You pride yourself in having these retarded possessions over your children…throw in a mental disorder, off their meds, stupid, abusive behavior, racism, a, “HEY LOOKIT ME WHAT I GOT ATTITUDE”, and you add all that up…and that equals a very dangerous human being who is capable of horrible things. Research some serial killers…alot of them share these same attributes you have displayed.
Keep ‘em comin’ Troy!
I just got this from one-half of Trark:
troyfromwv
ausmusloney@yahoo.com
216.30.249.53
Submitted on 2010/01/19 at 11:40am
Lee, the bastard breeder, likes to make claims he can’t back up. That’s how jealousy works. When one is jealous of another, one make’s up crap to make oneself feel better about oneself. I know what would make for a good chuckle. Taking a gander at Lee’s latest W2.
…says the person who’s BFF’s with an unemployed, racist, abusive, douchebag.
…says the person with only 4 grand in his savings.
…says the person who’s daddy got him a “job.”
…says the person who plays on the computer on company time.
Want proof? Here ya go:
Troy Sexton Is a Douche: Part 1
Troy Sexton Is a Douche: Part 2
My favorite part?
Christie Sexton, Troy Sexton’s wife, asked the court Tuesday to allow her husband to return home and receive probation instead of jail time. She said her husband has underlying mental-health issues and has been taking medication for about five years.
Sexton has been diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder and has been seeing a counselor, Peyton said.
Sexton told the court Tuesday he had not consistently taken his medication while on vacation prior to his outburst at his sons’ football practice in August.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Did you take your meds before posting that, Troy?
The fact you and your BFF have “mental issues” speaks volumes.
This morning, I awoke to find another comment in my spam folder from one half of the Putnam Penis Pumpers, Trark:
troyfromwv
ausmusloney@yahoo.com
216.30.249.53
Submitted on 2010/01/19 at 8:19am
I stand by my statement. Lee Mays makes more crazy claims then 911 Inside Job Twooftards. Amazing.
And in typical twoofy fashion, cowardly Mays bans users.
Again, Mark Halburn-Sexton’s husband is posting from work on his daddy’s dime! I’m sure there are those out there who wishes they had all that free time at their place of employment!
I have been called many things in my life…but never a “Twoof.” I’m not too sure what a twoof is, but I’m guessing it’s the sound Troy’s kids make when they hit the ground after he punches them.
Once again, one half of Trark…let me spell it out for you so your balding, sideburned skull can understand:
You and your wife, Mark Halburn-Sexton…are banned because you both cannot tell the truth to save your lives. I gave YOU the opportunity to tell your side of the story, however…just like your wife, you pussed out, bottom line. You can distort the truth all you want, but it’s been documented on this site and others as lies.
The truth is way too much fucking fun.
Onto other things…
A few days ago, I posted a um…”cryptic” (heh) entry entitled, “Bait and Fail.” I can now tell you what that is about, courtesy of Putnam County’s REAL News Leader:
On Friday evening at 7:16 PM PutnamLIES.com received the following comment from a Suddenlink customer (173.81.176.86) in the Ravenswood WV/Syracuse-Racine OH area:
“Hallburn was busted for aggravated DUI in Point Pleasant between 3 and 4 o’clock Friday. He blew a .193 on the breather. He just bonded out at magistrate court so no mug shot again. $5 grand was the bond (because of his prior problems) But he might get his trespassing bond pulled and go to jail in Charleston. Not even Kim Aaron can save his sorry ass for this one. Hallburn was on his way home from teaching social studies at Point Pleasant High School where he has worked since school started in September. Explain this one Markie boy.”
We can explain it. It’s not true.
Everyone’s heard the old saying, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.” Well, it was.
PutnamLIES.com immediately contacted Mason County Magistrate Gail Roush who was the magistrate on duty and she stated that Halburn did not come before her. The Western Regional Jail had no record either.
He also never taught social studies at Point Pleasant High School.
This was nothing more than a blatant fabrication, maliciously left in order to mislead PutnamLIES.com into printing a false story. Probably so some douchebag could try and sue us.
Well it didn’t work, asshole.
One phone call was all it took. Welcome to the 21st century.
We have standards here.
You can thank us later, gordo.
PutnamLIES’ publisher, Mike Ballburn, once again proves he’s Putnam County’s REAL News Leader by verifying information that was given to him. However, that information was proved to be false, and was reported as such.
We have all come to the conclusion that this information was perpetrated by either half of Trark, who went out of their way to try and make Mike look bad, and perhaps sue him for false information.
I’ve been told that the good people of Putnam County, WV have heralded Mike Ballburn has their county’s OFFICIAL news leader, the other one is just a cheap, bastardized fraud of real news.
Congratulations to Mike Ballburn, Putnam County’s Official News Leader! Head on over to PutnamLIES.com and hang out and maybe buy some cool swag.
While I’m at it, feel free to comment on Mark Halburn-Sexton’s Wal-Mart Doucheafesto by heading over to Hollywood: It’s A State Of Mind, Tyler F’in Hollywood’s Kickass Ninja Blog! He’s not really a ninja, but he is the #1 internet radio talk-show host in the whole multiverse, something that Mark Halburn-Sexton is flamingly jealous of…because Mark has failed and/or has been fired from radio…among other jobs.
While I’m on a roll, Mark Halburn-Sexton is also jealous of Jacque Jo Bland because she’s a REAL journalist with a REAL press pass, unlike the one Mark got out of a box of Frosted Fats. She’s also a better writer, more respected, and better to look at than Mark…well, staring at a pile of cow shit is better to look at than Mark.
It’s sad…well, no..it’s HILARIOUS, than both Mark and Troy have nothing, are nothing, and will never be nothing.
At least Trark has each other.
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and what better way to share the day of lovers than to share two comments that I found in my spam folder from two very passionate men:
Mark
News@PutnamLIVE.com
173.80.180.152
Submitted on 2010/01/18 at 10:54pm
Lee:
YOU ARE A LYING SACK OF CRAP! YOU NEVER SHOWED UP FOR THE DEBATE! YOU NEVER CAME TO THE RING! YOU ARE A FRAUD!
No, Mrs. Halburn-Sexton…I challenged YOU, you wanted to make up some dipshit terms that you know none of us could adhere to. If you were any kind of man you would have accepted as outlined a couple of entries ago, but you didn’t because you are a coward and only act like a badass against young girls.
Mark Hallburn is a pussy.
Now onto his husband who left this:
troyfromwv
ausmusloney@yahoo.com
216.30.249.53
Submitted on 2010/01/18 at 1:14pm
When it comes to making crazy assumptions, I never thought the 911 Inside Job believin douchebags could be topped. But Lee Mays has done it. Congrats!
Awwww…isn’t that fucking adorable? A husband coming to defend the honor of his wife. And doing it from work no less! Impressive! It’s good to know that the most awesomest comptroller the world has ever known has the time to post from work. Where do you find the time? I guess in between beating your kids to the point where they’re as retarded as you are and making time to spend with your er….”lovely” wife Mark. It just fills the cockles of my heart.
If there is a Cupid, he should be congratulated for bringing you two together. Forget Brangelina, and who the hell is Bennifer? We have Trark!!
This was in my spam folder when I got home:
Lee Mays’ Ex-Wife
poklrtboss@yahoo.com
173.81.110.109
Submitted on 2010/01/14 at 8:15pm
I heard Troy’s only 36 and his 250K house is paid off in full. I also heard he has 25K+ in a money market account. 25K+ in a CD. Checking account of 12K and a savings account of 4K. Totally debt free before the age of 40. And he’s the best comptroller his company’s accountants have ever seen.
If it’s true I am waaaaaay jealous.
I should have married someone like Troy. Not Lee. Don’t get me wrong. I love my daughter. I just hate it that she has Lee’s ugly ass features.
LOLZ!!!!
You didn’t hear this from me…but Troy also beats his kids and was busted for child abuse!
But that doesn’t matter, according to this, Troy is totally awesome!!!! Women want to be him and men want to be with him!!! He’s the bestest that something and something, and blah to the yadda…
But see…the only person that gives a shit, is Troy Sex-With-Men-Who-Weigh-A-Ton!!
Wow. Dude. Is this ALL you have?? I never thought there would be someone more retarded than your Grippy-Penis-Boy Mark Hallburn.
Holy shit. I mean…this isn’t even worth my time anymore. This is that pathetic. This isn’t even Combat on the Atari 2600 challenging. I mean, if I continued with this…it’d be like beating up a retarded, blind, and deaf-mute kid, which I’m sure Troy has already done at some point.
Not to mention, the best comptroller IN THE WORLD has gone out of his way at a local public library and created a “parody” blog of yours truly…which is documented in the screen grabs below:
According to my ace reporter, “…in the first one, the referring URL is a Blogger dashboard — where, say, some idiot who has Blogger would write their blog. And, you know, there’s an awful lot of interest in reading the Lee Blog for someone who has nothing to do with it.”
The fact remains, Troy has YET to refute any claims made here at Cryptic Bullshit…so we have no choice but to say everything is true.
However, this isn’t even fun for me anymore…the poor boy is beyond retarded. So it’s with this, that I retire my er….”battle” with Troy Sexton…because there’s no challenge in it for me.
Sorry Troy, you’re a loser of epic proportions…no matter how much or little your daddy has held your hand throughout your pathetic life. You probably have never worked a real job in your life, have you?
….oh, by the way, my daughter isn’t by my ex-wife.
Noodle that one for awhile.
Douchebag.
Shut Your Shithole!