CRYPTIC BULLSHIT

Caulk Suckers

Lee — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:33:53 +0000

They like big butts and they’ll tell you why, they’re idiots and I don’t deny:

‘Cause you notice that butt was stuffed with silicone, vaseline, and glue,
Makes my brothers say “Ewwwww!”
My homeboys rejected you.
Cuz that butt you got infected you!

Milk Dud

Lee — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 04:19:10 +0000

From nydailynews.com:

A woman busted in Kentucky for public intoxication made matters worse for herself after allegedly assaulting a police officer – with her breast milk.

According to WYMT news, Toni Tramel was changing into a prison uniform when she squirted a stream of breast milk into the face of a female officer.

The 31-year-old was later slapped with an additional charge of third-degree assault on a police officer.

It does a body good.

Shave To The Grind

Lee — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:51:21 +0000

This made my hair stand on end:

I guess Wal-Mart was out of Nair.

Ginger Snaps

Lee — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:13:51 +0000

I think he needs a hug:

Why do I have this feeling that dude is going to pick people off from a tower wearing his mom’s pantyhose over his head?

Unmade In South Korea

Lee — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 16:05:46 +0000

From thenextweb.com:

A South Korean couple have been arrested for starving their baby to death. The couple allegedly neglected their three-month-old daughter, who was born premature.

Once a day, between 12-hour stretches at a neighborhood Internet cafe, they fed their baby. Instead of nurturing their own daughter, they became obsessed with raising a virtual child in the popular role-playing game called Prius Online. The couple were arrested in Suwon, a suburb of Seoul, 5 months after reporting the death of their baby. The baby’s autopsy showed that she’d died due to a long period of malnutrition.

Chung Jin-won, a police officer, said, “The couple seemed to have lost their will to live a normal life, because they didn’t have jobs and gave birth to a premature baby. They indulged themselves in the online game of raising a virtual character so as to escape from reality, which led to the death of their real baby.”

Kwak Dae-kyung, a professor at Seoul’s Dongguk University, told the Yonhap news agency that the couple lost track of reality.

“Online game addiction can blur the line between reality and the virtual world. It seems that taking care of their on-line game character erased any sense of guilt they may have had for neglecting their daughter.”

The professor went on to urge the government to create measures to encourage families and neighbors to contact local authorities or hospitals if people close to them show symptoms of online addiction.

This is the dirty underbelly of South Korea’s fast and cheap Internet connections. Over the last ten years, there have been many stories of Internet addiction and compulsive gaming leading to serious consequences and even death. In 2007, South Korea established an Internet addiction camp to help people overcome their addiction to the Internet.

I guess teh interwebz is like meth and pills in South Korea.

Me Pot Of Gold!

Lee — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 04:33:47 +0000

It has been a great day. Once I got home from work and checked my email, it got even greater:

From:
LG

Congratulations! Your E-mail ID has brought to you an UNEXPECTED luck of £ 700,000.00 in LG AWARD. This is to promote & encourage the use of LG PRODUCTS as a global village around the WORLD. Call Or E-mail your ticket number CN6327932 to redeem your AWARD

Mr James Esq
+44-704-571-1167
jamesfletcheresqlg2@gmail.com

Once again, Congratulations

Sincerely
Sir George Harris

This will certainly help in my wedding to my beloved Nigerian Princess, whom I’ve been sending money to for the past 3 years for our wedding off the coast of beautiful Kashmir. She tells me in her country you can put weddings on lay-away. I can’t wait till it’s all paid up so me and my Nigerian Princess rule her vast land together as King and Queen of Nigeria!!

Talkin’ ‘Bout My Generation

Lee — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 04:04:08 +0000

Girl of Words’ latest post about an awesome underground movie got me thinking…barely…about great cult movies/shows in the 90s, or MY generation: Generation X.

During my college days, I got a heavy dose of one of the most original TV shows ever, Mystery Science Theater 3000, or “MST3K” on Comedy Central. Basically, the premise was a dude gets stuck in space with two robots, Tom Servo and Crow, and a female robot named Gypsy, who piloted their “ship.” The crew gets a daily dose of really, really, bad movies, or “experiments” initiated by two mad scientists, Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank (possibly one of the greatest sidekicks ever). The gang would sit there and watch these horrible films and rip them to shreds.

In later seasons a few cast members get replaced but the premise remained…cracking on really bad movies, television shorts, or really bad educational films.

Sadly, MST3K got canceled, one of the few television shows I wish they’d bring back. I still can’t understand why that irritating cunt Sarah Silverman has a show.

You can find alot of the older MST3K shows on DVD or online. One of my favorites from MST3K is a short called “Mr. B. Natural” is shown in it’s entirety below:

Lady Gag-Ah

Lee — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:23:59 +0000

Get ‘em while they’re young:

I just threw up in my mouth.

Somewhere, Patsy Ramsey is telling Jon-Benet, “SEE?!?!? If *I* only caked on a little more makeup on you and made you wear tighter clothes and showed more skin, we wouldn’t be here!!”

Abraham Lincoln — Vampire Hunter

Lee — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 15:12:56 +0000

This has awesome written all over it:

They’re supposed to make a movie based on said book, too!

FTW!

Doggone Kid

Lee — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:20:41 +0000

This is what happens when you let the dog babysit your child:

Potty training? You’re doing it wrong!